day two hundred twelve: the garden snake.

vice
grips tangle
heart mine
to mangle
choke don't die
live
let lie
cold moist
hatred
freezing to bone
guarded walls
unknown
slither through
the cracks
never repaired
before
slither through
to destroy
my sacred halls

day one hundred seventy-seven: ten feet tall and bullet proof.

i wonder what it's like
to feel ten feet tall
bullet proof
to take on the world
with a wink and a laugh
and actually win for once

i've never felt ten feet tall
or bullet proof
more like ten inches short
and full of holes
vulnerable

i don't know if i'll ever want
to feel ten feet tall
and bullet proof
because i might break a few hearts
maybe even my own
a few rules
just to say i did
but who knows?
i probably never will.

day one hundred forty-eight: bitter bite.

watch out, beautiful

here comes heartbreak

walking down the street

revenge and bitterness

raining form above

you're surrounded, overwhelmed

nothing can save you

from heartbreak's bitter

bite

day one hundred twenty-eight: broken pieces, broken dreams.

anxiety

lies

sometimes i'm ugly

inside and outside

i want to rip something in two

and fit it back together

in a whole new way

something of an art

like that time you took my heart

tore it in half

shoved the pieces back together

and laid them in my hands?

that was my biggest art project

and it taught me that life never goes

the way you want

but that's the artsy part

you get to figure out what to do

with all the broken pieces

and all the broken dreams

of yesterday.

day fifty: just because?

there's a muscle

in my middle

it's called a heart

it's beating

right this second

thump

thump

thump

for you?

no.

for me?

not really.

you want it?

okay.

you want to keep it?

just be careful.

just because it's a muscle

doesn't mean its unbreakable.

just because it seems strong

doesn't mean it is.

just because:

doesn't mean anything.

day forty-seven: us.

what are you two?

people ask

but there are no words

none at all

to describe this.

we are simply two people,

friends,

but sometimes much more,

sometimes much less,

it changes with the days

and there is simply not a name

for this blessed relationship

and who needs a name?

especially when you're as happy

as two pods in a pea.

day nineteen: healing.

time

to tell

just how

much

the truth

will

set you

free.

time

to see

just how

long

it will

take me

to

see.

time to

hear me

when

i tell

you

how i

feel.

please

don't just

listen

to me,

help me

heal.

day eighteen: until tonight.

letting so many things

slip from my lips

has never felt

so insanely unbearable

until tonight

letting so many truths

fall from my tongue

has never felt

so heart breaking

until tonight

watching so many disappointed glances

mask your face

has never felt

so disgusting

until tonight

hearing that we still have "trust issues"

with such a tone in your voice

has never felt

so gut-wrenchingly painful

until tonight

seeing that look

of "understanding"

has never felt

so frustrating

until tonight

thanks for listening

so, until tomorrow then,

goodnight.

day twelve: the spark.

there it was

in my hands

the spark that was

so light

and beautiful

to both me and to you

but as i watched it

grow and shrink

i knew it would not stay

so i let the spark

simply float away

don't be angry

it was the only thing to do

if i held it too tightly

i would have burned my hands

and extinguished as i turned to ash

and if i had let that happen

where would we be?

still without a spark

still without that magnetic pull

between you and me.

day ten: irony of ironies.

"why is your heart beating so fast?"

"because i'm standing next to such a beautiful boy..."

never a more ironic irony

has ever been drawn from a mason jar.

he has no idea

what he is doing

to and for me.

he's deciding the topic of my thoughts

and he's making me smile so big,

and its insanely amazing how his eyes

hypnotize me.

take your laugh lines and let me be tangled

within the joy of their visit.

and take your glance and melt my skin

reduced to a puddle at your feet.

take your arms and crush my soul

with a single embrace.

and all i can say is "thanks"

because never a more ironic irony

has ever occurred.

that is, until me and you.

now thats what i call ironic.

day eight: repeating the past.

who put this cd

on repeat?

who turned back

the hands of time?

why does this

seem

to be happening to me

all the all the time?

a passionate stab of

pain

from the passion

within my pain

a broken body

beneath this three-dimensional

state of mind, hides lonely,

am i broken

just to write another silly verse

to meter another pointless poem

with my distraught emotional state of mind?

because if thats not it,

then please,

lets skip this,

i've been here before,

i've cut myself this deep,

lets fast forward

past the repeated

steps of my past.

day one: unfinished business.

some things

never seem

to be done

while others

just enjoy

being undone

while some

seem to scream

"don't forget about me!"

other say

"don't waste your time..."

some are comfortable

with neglect

others, fear it.

some things

should be left

to be done

by the right

caring hands

while others

anyone can handle.

my heart is one

of these somethings.

which one,

its not sure

and neither am i.

so here's to the somethings

that need love

and affection

and here's to the things

that somehow

manage to go without.