day one hundred-eleven: where real beauty lies.

sad how you

cant see

that i am

beautifully me

because you're too

wrapped up in you

sad how you

wont see

that my God loves me

because you have to be

a certain size to please yours

sad how you

must bring

the hateful words

to pull me down

because you cant see

where real beauty lies

[inside]

day forty-nine: God said so.

something

i did

it was the hardest thing

i've ever chosen to do

but it was the right thing

God said so.

but now there's you

and staying away

is the hardest thing i'm doing now

and i don't really want to

honestly, i'd rather not

but it is the right thing to do

for right now

God said so.

day eighteen: until tonight.

letting so many things

slip from my lips

has never felt

so insanely unbearable

until tonight

letting so many truths

fall from my tongue

has never felt

so heart breaking

until tonight

watching so many disappointed glances

mask your face

has never felt

so disgusting

until tonight

hearing that we still have "trust issues"

with such a tone in your voice

has never felt

so gut-wrenchingly painful

until tonight

seeing that look

of "understanding"

has never felt

so frustrating

until tonight

thanks for listening

so, until tomorrow then,

goodnight.

day thirteen: He believes in you.

i believe in a God.

a God with power

over the entire universe

and beyond my understanding

i believe that He loves me

and as i can hardly begin

to understand

how He is even capable

of loving someone

as despicable as me

but i believe

i believe

i believe that He believes in you.