day one hundred eighty-eight: lies.

lay down the truth
foundation beneath the structure
winds blow
and it stands still

place a post upright
atop the desert sand
winds blow
it stands not a chance

take a leap of faith
make a choice that may end in misery
winds blow
and i feel warm

drop a bombshell
let it be released
let it rain acid and pain on me
winds blow
the rain still falls.

day one hundred thirty-one: come, death, lay with me.

ghosts laughed

and they cried

and they listened to

the midnight rhymes

and they let the leaves fall

from the trees so tall

tumbling down

laying on the ground

i lay beneath the surface

never to be touched

by such a beautiful leaf

only a root

digging in deep

penetrating the being that is me

breaking through the fibers

that create my soul

and it is selfish

with its unholy craving

to suck the life

from my life filled bones

come, death, lay with me

beneath the stone cold ground.

day one hundred-two: "numbing."

"numbing the pain

for a while

will make it worse

when you finally

feel it"

numbing your brain

to the truth

will make it more shocking

when you finally

accept it

hiding yourself from

the problem

will make it multiply

by the time you're ready

to tackle it

pushing your dreams

to the side

will make them harder

to achieve when

you're ready to reach for them

and finding a way

around the problem

will only make it find you

in the future

when you're ready for it

to be behind you.

day ninety-one: relief is here.

there is relief there

but also fear

and resenting

there is relief here

where i am

i have finally found it

but where is the

bull-blown, insanely amazing

peace?

it's back there

or just ahead

hinging on a simple

"yes"

or "no"

answer from you

even though

my decision

has already been made.